Assuming you'll never be the elite.

You know this feeling you have when you are in the best of the best, with the best people and having the best time? Me neither. And it is something really depressing to know you'll never experience that. It is just because you were not born for that, you cannot fit in with the best of the best, and that is something you cannot change as well. Or can you? I mean, when I was younger I pretty felt like I was on top of the world. Well that's the problem, you can be on top of the world for some time and then fall, and afterwards rise again, however what really means to be the best of the best is being the top of the world. Yeah you know, that kinda people that make everything flawlessly, those who are admired and can aspire to the highest. They just have that perfection in their blood, and you might learn somehow to be similar to that, but it will eventually dissapear, since it isn't part of you, it is just a face of yourself you created by trying to change. It is like being a king, however it is the 21st century king style; people who are born just seeming better than the rest, and they may be, but they look so modelistic we just think they are superior to us. That is in reality what a king is, a person whose power is supplied by the rest of the people. Therefore, according to that, we are the ones who give our kings the power, and we are the ones who make the elite be the elite. Well, and is that bad? I mean you are making someone better just by believing you are worse. That is sadly the truth, although you can use it in your own benefit. Just think this way, you believe you are worse because you think there are people above you, so it is simple,  just stop thinking about that hierarchy. Eventually you'll notice you have sneaked out of the loser's state and you are automatically climbing up. And why is that? Simpler than before, you were bad and useless before because of your beliefs, your beliefs about peope who were better than you were, now you just frozen those thoughts, becoming neutral now. Neutral is better than useless and bad, so other people who thought like you will rise you up. That's it. 
On the other hand of simplicity, we habe the part in which we realize we do need inferior people to be better, and that we need superior people to feel worse. When I realised that I just looked for a group of people where we all belonged to the same group, with no social steps between each other. That works, believe me. There, you feel equality between eveyone, therefore you believe you are all the same, and as a consequence you are making nobody better than you, you are not rising anyone above you. That, my dear blog, is asduming you'll never reach the elite. Even though you'll never reach the bottom either, you'll just be an average person.
Nevertheless that is a big problem for ambitious people, like me. We want to go further, to climb higher, to work harder, and all that just to become a better person for you and for the eyes of the rest. Consequently that will create a gap between you and your all-the-same group of friends, and that might destroy it all again, so this time I'll have to be more careful when trying to be the elite while being equal to eveyone around. 
As always, thanks for being here dear  blog.

Loneliness.

You know those times you feel so alone you just cannot keep on? Well, that is my life. I do not knok why, yet I still feel alone whenever or wherever I am. I do not know how, but even when I am surrounded with people I feel even more alone. I do not know when all this started, but it feels it has been part of me all my life. As with everything in my life I got used to it. Let me explain myself, this sensation is similar to that one of people in space, however I am on Earth. I have friends though, but they just seem absent, and everyone else just don't give a damn about me, and neither do I, so I am virtually surrounded with ghost-friends and invisible people, and only a buch of people kinda undertsand it. In the end you realise how good you were at the beginning, and how bad you are now, although you cannot get to te beginning anymore. I have tried to understand what happended in the path, what occurred in my way here so I feel, or maybe I am lonely. Once I somehow saw what happened, I find it impossible to be the one I once was, it seems too difficult or it involves too much effort, and simply it isn't worth it, so instead I just stay where I am.
Nonetheless, not all of this is bad, as always eveything has a bright side, and this time it is that you have a massive ammount of time to think about yourself, who you want to be and how to achieve it. Therefore you can become a better person in the future, more mature and all that, but honestly, I'd rather be happy and have an unplanned life to be lonely as I am. 
There is a perfect song for this situation, it describes all of this so well that it makes me just speechless, ASTRONAUT - Simple Plan. "Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot".
Well, I cannot find any solution to this, I only hope it ends with time, because it is so depressing to feel so alone so often. Maybe the solution would be to find a partner, a girlfriend, but you know what, they are just as useless as crying, I have tried, and that my dear blog is another story.
To conclude, lonleliness is probably one of the worst sensations in the world, however it also has a good side, but it all depends on which side you want to stay, and I  have chosen to live in the worst of all, but with a fake smile overall.
Thanks for being here dear blog.