Sadly.

I just tried to have it all, but instead I lost each thing I achieved while trying to get the rest. What do I mean with this? It is said here "La avaricia rompe el saco", and it is so true, sadly. Whenever your goal is to own everything, to have everyone under your thumb, to take control of all, think it twice. Eventually you will lose it all, and that is for sure. It is difficult to assimilate that you cannot have everything, because most of us are very ambitious. However, we need to understand that we have to be happy with what we have, and perhaps try to get something else and add it to our collection, but never try to get it all. It always happens to me, I am never happy whith what I have, and in the mayority of the cases I try to start to gain and succed on things, on new things, while I have not even acomplished my actual goals. Consequently I always lose all, sadly. I have tried, I have tried so hard to avoid wanting it all, but it is impossible. I guess I will have to live my entire life without achieving anything completely, but everything partially.
Nevertheless, that is somehow good isn't it? I mean, you may not have all what you want, and you might not have complete things nethier, but at least you have small pieces of each cake, and that is enough to survive. But it is never enough, and I look for more pieces of the cake, and destroy the ones I already had... It is so fuc€&ng depressing, sadly. As with every mistake in my life, I will have to learn to live with it, wich isn't so hard, because all of it are unfinished mistakes, and uncompleted goals.
Sadly all is sad. None of these things have a good side, each side which seems to be positive turns up to be worse than the one before. Everything in here if geeting used to it, just get used to be a failure, and your own existance will become less painful, since you know your next step will be the same or worse than the one before, sadly. 
Thanks for being here dear blog.

How to forget?

How you get rid off of your deepest fears and your worst memories? Well that is a question I have been asking myself for a lot of time, and I think yesterday I found the answer. How you forget about the pain you are feeling in your hand? Easy, you just relax and try to have fun so the pain fades or you inflict pain in other part of your body. Obviously, to forget the pain I was feeling in my mind, in my heart, in my thoughts, I had to relax and have fun. Therefore I just started studying and hanged out with some awesome friends. While I was doing that I can proudly say that my pain vanished, at least for the time I spent doing that. Unfortunately, it came back as soon as I stopped wandering. 
So, what can we learn from this? The most relevant thing is that you need to forget, to change your thoughts, to relax, because if not they will just end up with you. The other option is cutting, but it is so awkward, and I believe it is just for very extreme cases. Additionally it is too painful and too SAW for normal people, I prefer to have fun, which works just the same and does not create scars. The most effective way to relax is just to focus on something else and let your mind fly free, so you do not obsess with the same sad and sorrowy stuff. Amd what is the best way to have fun? Well mates, that depends of the likes and dislikes of people.
But does this really work? The answer is sadly, no. Your problems will still live inside and outside you. The only way to end up with them is to face them and to fight them as hard as you can. 
Nothing scares me anymore, I have suffered so much, I have experienced so may bad things, so much sorrow, so much sadness, that I can say I am prepared for whatever has to come. However, that does not mean I am prepared to solve and destroy my problems and my nightmares, because I have never succeded at that. I have just learnt to live with them, to ignore them, even though they reappear stronger and faze me more than the first time. That's why I feel the necesity to share them. I am lucky, since I have found someone I trust, someone that understands me, and then I found some other people who are the same way, so I can talk to them and explain my sadness and my fears, and they can help. But it happens viceversa too, I can be very helpful at resolving other's problems, at making them forget, because as we always know we only see one perspective of reality, our own perspective, and we do need people to share their perspectives with us so we can widely understand what surrounds us. 
To sum up, fears and problems won't fade out just by having fun and forgetting them. Nevertheless we need to do that, we need to vanish for some time as they do, and them arrive stronger and with more desire to fight and to win. If we don't do this, only out nightmares will get stronger, and consequently thet will start winning battles, and eventually we won't be able to ascend and to win the war.
Thanks for being here dear blog.

The Universe hates me.

Today it was just another chapter of the part in which the Universe screws me up. It is awesome how sometimes the most probable things, which you have been thinking and preparing for ages, turn upside down by such impossible stuff, that you just can obtain a poker face. 
This time, it was all prepared, all was going to work, all was thought carefully, but, surprisingly enough, the Universe put in my way a robber. Yeah, one of the most improbable things that can actually happen when planning things, just happened to me. Besides, this is not the first time, and unfortunately it won't be the last either. I just feel like if my fate is to be alone forever if I want to look and search for my goals, I mean, whenever I look for someone the fu@&ing Universe just has to deplore my outlines. However, it virtually works the other way around, meaning that I never choose what my destiny will be, but  my fate instead chooses me. I have actually never achieved the most important plans in my life regarding those topics, just because this friendly Universe is so freaking bored it has to always be in the middle of my guidance to succeed.
But in the end I have finally achieved one thing, to live with the Universe at my back f&€king everything up always. It may not be the best way to live, but I guess that is my life, and I have to carry on. Some people say to me that I make my own destiny, but they are all wrong, since I really can't find anything so horrible I have done to deserve total failures and defeats in every single battle. 
To conclude, even having the Universe annoying and teasing you, your duty is to continue fighting to overcome it, to win the war and to show everyone, but most importantly yourself, that you are capable of defeating the whole existance, the whole "everything" that is against you.
Well, after all this final cliché speech, heres comes the real stuff, which is that if the Universe hates you, you just keep on with a sad face, but keeping all working well though. You just pray so that one day all your fuc&ed up life turns all the way around and changes to a nice place to live. Nevertheless, we all now that this utopia won't actually happen if you do not work hard enough, so work hard and your bad luck will change. I guess. In the end is everything we can do.
Thanks for being here dear blog. 

Beginning

Hi dear blog.
I am a narrtor of life. I will try to tell you the most annoying, awkward, funny, sad, interesting, awesome, beautiful and, overall, real stuff that happens in my life. 

My life is average, not very bad, not very good, but it is not boring, even though I sometimes think so. 

Firstly, after I understood what life was, I understood as well that life is tough and hard, and that if I wanted to win this battle, I would have to organise myself. Afterwards I became very responsible, but very clumsy though. Thus, my life is stressing and full of adult stuff that should not exist in a teenager normal life. I guess that is what makes my life more interesting, and, although it is a great thing to be responsible, sometimes it just freaks me out too much. In here I will try to narrate, to tell you, dear blog, my life, with a didactic purpose, so I will come here if I need advise about how NOT to do something, because all my plans end up as failures and all my victories get lost amongst all the defeats. Well, dear blog, this is the story of the things that concern me in this very moment, and I am sure they will change, so in order to never forget what I was and where I was, I will write this.

Thanks for being here dear blog.