Nightmare

Lets be honest, I am not doing great, and I need help. But no one can help me. Only I can. How can I help me? I just want to sleep, and that would help me so much. But I cannot. I have to wake up. Oh, wake up, I hate it so much. I wish I could sleep forever. But I would like to wake up sometime. Will I? Or will I feel so confortable asleep I would not get up? It woudl be ok. Never waking up from my dream. Never getting into the nightmare of living. It is worse that the worst of the nightmares my mind hosts. It is indeed. In my nightmares I have the control. In my nightmares I choose to suffer. In hell they make me suffer. My nightmares are cosy. I am afraid only if I want to. My nightmares are my home. I live in my nightmares. But I got used to it. My nightmares became my life. Piecemeal they did. The dream was broken. My nightmare began when I opened my eyes. My dream began when... It never began. It stayed unstarted. It remained untouched, unchanged in my deep thoughts. It remained safe for some time I might need it. The time had arrived. I needed to open the dream chest. I needed to dream the dream. But it was not there. My dream never existed. I never made my dream. My dream leaked out. It became a nightmare. The nightmagre grew. The nightmare became my life and my dream. All in all I am living my dream. I am living a dream which turned into a nightmare. A scary dream. An independent dream. This dream controls me. My dream controls me. My dream turned against me. My dream is trying to end up with me. Well it is not trying. It did. Long ago. It killed me long ago. Now I live my dream. The time has come. And I am only living my dream. My dream, which turned into a nightmare, a nightmare which turned into my life, my life which is my dream. My scary dream.